Lost

"Just let your fears go,

You might find your way back home.

Let your fears go,

You might find that you're not lost..."

- Sunlounger

Prioritizing

Why do people blog?? I think it's different for every blogger. Some are attention seeking whores, some cannot find another way to express themselves, others like me, just like to collect some of my  'highlighted thoughts" in the form of web entries. 

So I'm here again, to collect my thoughts.

Life has been quite a havoc, hence the lack of entries these past 2 months. Fluctuating relationship statuses, raging fights with the family via Skype, crazy weekends with my best friend and really just full on enjoying life sometimes then there are just days of being high...all part of the new experience I'm having at this point in my life. I feel like I'm in a lull where studying is really just a state of mind that I zone in and out of, in and out of...

Friends call my phase "growth and discovery". But to be honest, I have no fucking idea what I'm discovering?! I feel lost. Usually when I'm lost, I create movement with my body to find a grip and control the confusion by moving my way into a thematic form of choreography. But even in my movement these few weeks, I see a lost soul. I want to believe that I am still in control but I definitely do not feel that way. I feel like I have to rely on certain people and fall back into certain habits in order to not lose grip. And I was never like this before....

I just want to find something, but find what?????

What is the fucking point? I ask myself that all the time, and a little more than expected lately.

Collecting my thoughts,

what a hassle.